


I don't know what it means to feel whole

by ImmortalRoot



Category: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Genre: Angst, F/F, Femslash, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 04:38:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16190255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalRoot/pseuds/ImmortalRoot
Summary: Alternative scene in 2x18: Today is the Day (1) that I couldn't get out of my head where Cameron gives Sarah the necklace instead of John.





	I don't know what it means to feel whole

**Author's Note:**

> "You're next to me, but I feel so cold with you  
> I will be your mannequin, love  
> Moving my lips the way that you want  
> Remain the same whenever you walk away"

Sarah scoured all over the house looking for Cameron, getting more frustrated by the minute. It was as if she was hiding, ironically. But Sarah couldn’t blame her after what had happened between them a few days ago. She had tried not to think about how soft Cameron’s lips were against hers. Tried not to think about how well their bodies fit together. Tried not to think about the way Cameron looked at her like she was the only thing that mattered. But it was all she thought about while she lay in bed, trying to shake off these memories by tossing and turning, not really asleep and not really awake.

She jogged down the steps and sauntered towards the garage where she saw the back of Cameron’s head through the window. Sarah stopped breathing at the memory of her grasping the back of Cameron’s head, fingers in a fistful of her soft brown hair as Cameron caressed her inner left thigh. She opened the door and poked her head in, not really wanting to be in close proximity of Cameron but being inexplicably drawn to her like she was being pulled by gravity.

“Cameron, we need you in the kitchen,” Sarah ordered immediately. For what, she would figure out later, she thought.

But Cameron continued working on the piece in front of her, as if Sarah wasn’t there at all, as if her life depended on it.

“Cameron,” Sarah repeated, louder this time, throwing her a glare.

“I made you something,” Cameron stated, holding up a necklace.

“What do you mean you made me something?” Sarah’s eyes furrowed, her cheeks hard.

Sarah sighed, looked left and right to make sure no one saw them alone together before she closed the door and walked towards Cameron. She made sure not to stand too close.

“I put a chip inside my head. All you have to do is press the button,” she dangled the necklace in front of Sarah waiting for her to take it.

“What’s it for?” Sarah raised an eyebrow worriedly. 

“I can’t kill myself but you can,” Cameron looked at her, those brown doe eyes emitting some kind of emotion that Sarah had never seen before.

“Is this because you killed Riley?” Sarah asked, after staying silent for a long time.

“No. I did not kill her.”

“Then why are you giving me this, Cameron?”

Sarah wanted to trust her so much it hurt when she couldn’t. Because the truth was that Cameron could turn on her at any moment and kill her and John. Because she was a machine. Because she was one of them. Because she lied about burning the endos again and she didn’t know what else Cameron was lying about.

“You might need it one day.”

“Is there something you want to tell me?”

“John has tried to fix me twice now. I’m glitching again. It’s not working. So I made this. You might need it one day,” Cameron told her.

“This is ridiculous,” Sarah scoffed. She grabbed the necklace and threw it onto the table in front of them.

“Sarah,” Cameron said aloud. The way she spoke Sarah’s name made Sarah stop and look into her eyes. A shiver ran down her spine. It was as if she had just said, “please.”

“Give it to John,” Sarah tried to say casually, her back against the table now. She averted her eyes trying to ignore the longing she thought she heard in Cameron’s voice.

“But I want you to have it,” Cameron grabbed the necklace and turned to face Sarah. She inched towards her, putting the necklace over her gently as if it were giving Sarah her chip. Sarah tried not to move as she felt Cameron’s fingers brush the back of her neck, remembering the delicate touch of Cameron’s lips grazing her skin as a fire ran through her entire body.

“Cam,” Sarah breathed, wrapping her hand around Cameron’s neck so that their foreheads could touch. Her eyes ran over Cameron’s, trying to resist the urge to kiss her, as if the world would end if they did again. Cameron made her feel a lot of things. Half of them she didn’t understand. But she knew this couldn’t be love because Cameron was a terminator. She was meant to take down Skynet, to destroy all the machines, to save John. But the thought of Cameron being destroyed tugged at her chest. Whatever it came down to, she knew she wasn’t going to go down without a fight.

The second she let go of Cameron’s face and tried to walk off, Cameron pulled her into a firm kiss. The same kiss that undid Sarah every time she thought she was done.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to @EliaAlice for the encouragement to post this!


End file.
